Feb 26
Conversations with EdClinch: 21 Questions
1. nahla: Your parents are your best allies, your favorite people, your (fill in the blank). Why or how so?
my parents are neutral to me. my
father died in 2003 after having spent 3 years in a coma. prior to his
accident, i spent the previous 4 years basically ignoring my family as
a whole. college was both rough and fun for me, i didnt need the
baggage of a dysfunctional family holding me down. One day I woke up,
chased some chick I don’t remember out of my bed, threw away all my
alcohol and drug paraphernalia, took a shower, got dressed and
graduated. Then I realized I didnt WANT to teach – so I joined the
army. i made up with my dad on NOV 10, 2000. I had just transferred to
my first duty station and was home for the 4 day weekend [pass]. We
made up, straightening out a lot of the shit that’d gone on since he
and my mother’d retired from service. We essentially made amends and
promised to make up the lost time. on Nov 14, a trailer he was
following slid off the road in Pittsburgh, PA, though he was uninjured.
He got out of the vehicle to save his buddies who were trapped in the
burning vehicle. Thats when an idiot who didnt notice a burning tractor
trailer ran my dad over. His only major injuries were brain injuries,
but he never woke up again.
I remember driving home from all over the
country - VA, KY, NY - to bathe, shave and read to him. I remember
contemplating hospitalizing my mother. I also remember the country my
father loved trying to kill him. When it was determined that my father,
a veteran of two foreign wars, would not wake up, TriCare - the
military health care system - decided to pull the plug. unfortunately
they failed in their attempt to kill him. Because he no longer needed
the machines to breathe, TriCare refused to pay for his feeding bags. I
decided right then to get out of the military. We were on the news. The
Governor of PA came out about how tragic it all was. In a twist of dark
irony, Senator Strom Thurmon - a Olde South racist - stepped in and had
my father’s comatose body flown from Allegheny medical center to the VA
Hospital in Charleston. He would eventually die of a cold. Though he
was a Muslim, my mother and her church groupies (AME) slipped into the
hospice and baptized him on his deathbed while i was out buying food
for my 3 year old nephew.
I remember him telling me he didn’t
want to go to PA. it was cold, he didn’t need the money. I told him
that if he went to PA for the weekend gig, I’d drive up from Fort
Monroe, VA and meet him for drinks and a night out. He never wanted to
go, and had
a bad feeling about the whole trip. [see #21] I pushed him into it. I
may as well have pushed him into the path of the truck.
my father had 3 men on earth he
considered friends. Well, workers comp went after one said ‘friend’ to
recoup the money my mother received as a settlement. This man, the man
my dad referred to as a ‘dear friend’, divorced his wife and sold his
entire estate to her. then he filed for bankruptcy. it took 7 years, as
in ‘just last month 7 years’, for them to track him down to pay my
mother the money he’d owed her. but hey, what are friends for?
needless to say, i have trust issues. when i divine my enemies from friends, i’ll let you know.
2. hanafiyya: What adult friends do you consider your closest comrades, true companions? Do you think that number is normal? Why?
My closest companions would be my wife,
my sister and my 2 brothers (Davaal and Warlock (who too lazy to start a blog) – only one of whom is actually a blood
brother. My wife and I met in the army under some harsh conditions. I
was going thru a rough patch. My father had just died. My mother had
gone insane from the loss of her life partner. My Lady picked me up,
dusted my ashy knees and elbows off and reminded me why I was alive.
These few people are my partners in crime, the get-away drivers in the
heist called Life. i count myself lucky to have so many special people
in my life. I trust my brothers - fraternal and fraternity - alone with
my wife and child. They are the Godfathers to my son, and have keys to
my home.
most people dont know who their true partners
are. they assign the role of ‘friend’ to anyone who shares a meal with
them. though i commonly run with upwards of 15 guys when i’m out, i’d
only risk my life for 2 of them. Remember i said this: "Trust is an
intimate conspiracy. Love is the most intimate of Trusts."
3. maqla: What do you generalize or even specify as the key to youth, and your youth in particular?
The key to youth is freedom and
guidance. Children should be allowed to be children. They should be
pushed to achieve, but allowed room for failure. the key to my
childhood was choice. my parents never really set boundaries. They
pushed me to try everything to be whatever I wanted. There was little
pressure. They also trusted me to do the right thing. [or at least not
get caught.]
4. azhar: In your ideal world, give us a short (or long) list of what you would change…
In my ideal world: children wouldnt be
left sitting on a curb after school because their parents forgot to
pick them up. The media wouldnt be so blatantly corrupt. Men wouldnt
get raped in prison while doing their justice appoint time. women
wouldnt get beaten by their husbands. Gay marriage would be legal and
illegal aliens would be shot to death the minute they stepped into our
nation. I’d glass the entire Middle East, but i’d start with Israel.
Then my administration would slowly creep across the map like a game of
Risk gone horribly awry.
Also:
Saturdays would be for cartoons and salad bowl sized servings of Rice Crispies or Fruit Loops
Sundays would be for Cartoon Express and Kungfu Theater.
Fridays would be for skate nights
the cowboys would win another superbowl
this last superbowl would have ended in a tie and Peyton Manning would have cried on TV.
5. mabrad: Which sports minds do you admire the most, and why?
i’m not impressed by anyone in the
sports world. These guys are jocks who needed help to get into State
College. Or theyre journalists who couldnt make money at an honest
literary endeavor. Their writing is below basic and rarely insightful.
i have more respect for bloggers than supposed ’sports journalists.’
theyre just leeches.
6. anabeeb: How do you think organized athletics enhances or detracts from modern society? If both, what is the sum total effect?
enhances. i believe
it enhances society because of the faux god-like status our sports
heroes receive. if this lifestyle… if the presentation of this
lifestyle saves even one soul from despair, then i believe it was worth
it. It provides another avenue for revenue which is never a bad thing.
it gives our kids something to do that is healthy both mentally and
physically. Humans evolve via interaction, and organized sports give us
yet another way to do so.
detracts: anything
taken to an extreme is a bad thing. people, lacking in many talents,
tend to obsess over the few things they can do well. some people,
insecure about their other talents, push sports as the meaning for
their lives. they build up throwing a pass, or dribbling a ball into
something epic always forgetting that they’ve done nothing but dribble
a ball or throw a pass.
judgment: like most
things, its a mixed bag. anything taken to an extreme is bad. sports
provide some great stories for us to follow. man has conquered every
aspect of life on this little blue rock, so we no longer sit around the
fire listening to tales of greatness. The fireside chatting spurred the
growth of our brains and is an intrinsic part of our beings. Like dogs
who need pack leaders, we NEED our heroes. Hence the power and sway
athletes hold in our society.
7. suffara: What is the
gap, gulf or divide between "white", "black" and maybe "brown" America?
Is it more economic than race produced? Explain.
Its an economic gap ignited by race.
i’ve met evil, both black and white and I wouldnt say that either is
inherently bad… The economic gap can be seen in the way we prepare
our children. Blacks are just now learning things that have been
established in other cultures for centuries. Now that CEO’s and GM’s
are recognizing that there really is no intellectual gap between blacks
and whites, hiring black management is the stylish thing to do. Every
group has been the goat at some point in history. Irish, Hebrew,
Catholics - these things ebb and flow. In 50 years, we wont even be
having this conversation. or we’ll be talking about Hispanics.
The problem is that we aren’t holding ourselves
accountable. We need to understand that cultures ARE different and
handle things differently. When someone does something awful, it
appears that whites tend to look the other way regardless of how
destabilizing the act may have been. Rush Limbaugh and George Allen are
racists – blacks feel that these guys should have been smacked down by
established whites rather than hushed away. Admittedly, we are
generally more confrontational and we expect - fairly or unfairly -
everyone else to be that way. So we feel betrayed when Rush gets fired
from ESPN for racist remarks and hired a week later for another job.
That made white apologists seem disingenuous. We (as in blacks) never
allowed for the fact that whites might feel the same way yet be – and
this is my opinion – LESS confrontational and more willing to forgive.
It goes both ways: until we learn to respect each others cultural
differences, we’re in for a long haul.
8. dufda: What have you
done in this life thus far that will have the longest lasting effect,
profound or otherwise? Any goals to leave a particular legacy before
you expire?
i have a son. i do not believe that my
life will matter in the long run except thru my son. My sphere of
influence is small. I strive to make a life for my family and raise
good children. if the things i teach my children allow them to become
strong, upstanding citizens - that will be my legacy. I plan to run for
local office in 10 years. I will work hard to be a voice for the people
– as I have no personal agenda beyond that.
9. nimer: What physical and
perhaps mental/emotional gifts have you been blessed with? How have
these been made manifest? Anecdote of the extraordinary? Or banal.
i have a lot of musical talent. i hold
a degree in music from the University of South Carolina in Education
with a certificate in performance. I started my career as a fat 7th
grade tuba player and finished bowing on stage in Heidelberg Germany
performing Phillip Sparke’s Pantomime for Euphonium. I play all brass
instruments, piano and a passable flute. i understand the sax well
enough to coach a beginner. my wife, when she’s not in camouflage, is
also a music major (flautist) at USC. I own a bass guitar which i
havent had time to learn. i think i may be the only professional low
brassman in the world who can’t play the bass guitar. i could make a
living as a clinician and a private tutor. I could suck it up and go
back and be a band director. Or i could sell out completely and try to
make it as a classical artist.
Mental gifts? i write music, poetry. I
cant seem to string a story together, but for the length of a verse or
stanza, i’m pretty good. i’ve published some stuff and even free-styled
some things on my blog. i dont advertise this fact to anyone, but i’m
published. its not from shame, my moment of discovery tainted by
pandering.
10. raseef: I have heard
you share about your religion, your personal assessment of worthiness,
for lack of a better word. Do you see yourself changing over time?
times change, people do not. i see myself acting different now than 10 years ago, but really only because my position in life changed. People are only as faithful as their options
and i try to respect that ruthless part of myself at all times. it’s an
unfortunate fact that i will always be who i am - my goal has been to
learn acceptance. Demonicume personifies my acceptance of the baser
parts of my personality. Until you really get to know me, you never
know what youre gonna get. Hell, a deer dont know why its a deer, a
tiger dont know why its a tiger. The fact is that we are who we are and
thats the way it is. Were a deer to set out and hunt tigers, he’s still
be a deer. Were he to get up on 2 legs and drive a car, he’d just be a
deer driving a car. Prior bad acts never go away, they are just
forgotten. But i guess that, practically speaking, once a moment is
forgotten it no longer exists in reality and doesnt really matter. so
forget what i just said. i portray myself as bad so as not to lie to
people. Like FlyingPig said in the most reasonable explanation i’ve read about the Tim Hardaway saga: i’m wearing my T-Shirt.
11. suhliya: Why do some people do well with money and security and others don’t? Any tips?
There’s a book: Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
It’s basically what rich people teach their kids about money that poor
folks dont. i’m the living example of this. when i went to college, i
went with the clothes in my suitcase and money i earned from a job at
Wendy’s. everyone got all kinds of crazy gifts at graduation, like cars
and bonds. i got luggage. college for me was difficult, even on
scholarship. i didnt know simple things about money and finances. i
struggled for a while, and it wasnt until i joined the military and got
some structure that i realized how badly i’d screwed my life up
financially. It’s been a struggle back to respectability. i would
recommend that parents teach their children early to handle their
finances responsibly.
12. seesan: If you had to
eat Mexican, Indian, Chinese and Vietnamese food every day of the week
except Sunday, tell us the Sunday meals you would plan out over the
weeks or months…How often would you cook, go out, barbecue, etc…
Every sunday would be BBQ day.
50lbs of crab legs boiled to perfection in crab boil, garlic, onion and red pepper
Pork Ribs (i’m an awful muslim), marinated in Dales Sauce, rubbed with salt, pepper, garlic salt, accent and brown sugar
Hamburgers - handmade, marinated in Dales Sauce. add one egg, bread crumbs, onion, crushed bacon
Beaufort Stew (frogmore stew) - Oysters, spiced sausage, corn on the
cob, potatoes cut small, whole onion, whole garlic, crab boil
macaroni and cheese - baked not that stove top bullshit.
potatoe salad
Rice - of course, i’m a Carolina boy.
Polish Kielbasa - the real Keibasa, not that store bought shit
Lots of beer
Watermelon for desert - because females always want desert, and niggaz LOVE watermelon.
13. manar: If you were
banished for life from the Palmetto State (OK, we’d let you attend a
USC Homecoming Weekend every four years), where would you move? If it
is one state away, where would you go two states away? 3? 4? This may
require a map.
I’d move to… Texas. i love texas. It has Southern Goodness and it has size. i was born in Dallas. But i never spent much time
there beyond summers on my granddaddy’s farm and assorted funerals.
were i single, i’d move out to the midwest. someplace like the Dakotas.
when i was in the army, i met many reservists from the Mid-West, many
beautiful women, and i liked them all. i once went to South Dakota with
a girlfriend. It was almost as if i hadnt left the South. Everyone was
polite. they said ‘yes, ma’m’ and ‘no, sir’. the only downside was that
i was the most gangsta cat in the whole state. i took off my shirt to
play ball and every stopped and stared at me. I’ve got multiple
fraternity brands, tattoos, a long knife scar on my side, etc. I felt like a
whore sitting in church with no drawers on - and i’m NOT IN THE LEAST a
thuggish guy. it’s a damned shame when the most ‘gangsta’ guy in the
entire state is poet-musician with some body modifications. I had a
similar experience in Wyoming.
14. shara: If the above
question were applied to the United States, with the provision that you
could call your shots as to income, work schedule, etc…Where would
you go? (You can choose multiple places, like England in the spring and
Mexico in the fall…)
i need to live in the South and near
the coast. i get nervous when i’m further than 2 hours from seawater. I
need to smell the sea on the wind. I need fresh seafood. I need to be
able to ride to dock and by 5lbs of shark steak. for all our problems,
i love sweet tea and grits. i love Southern women that ‘glisten’ rather
than ’sweat’. I love BBQing 10 months out of the year. I love the
hellishly hot summers, with the beautiful women in short clothes doing
their sweet little walks to and fro. honestly - despite my marriage to
a Yankee - a women with a Southern accent can have anything she wants
from me. She need only ask it the right way.
15. "nab: Who are your heroes?
i was raised not to have heroes. There was never
any one person who’s life i wanted to emulate. I respected many people,
but idolatry is a sin - that was humor [I have no issues with sin]. so,
no, i have no heroes, but i admire some folks. My ego doesnt allow for
idolatry.
16. wishah: Favorite people (no, not favorite) that abuse power and others? Specific names or general status positions accepted.
George Bush - G-Dub.
i’ll take a smart president with disagreeable politics before i take
some idiot who can barely read a teleprompter. I feel that we should
put the most qualified person into our public offices regardless of
personal politics. The presidency is hamstrung by the congress. We
should put the person most likely to fulfill his or her post - and then
hire a congress to check them. but all politics aside, i think this man
is an utter moron. no one can argue that he’s a smart man. i treasure
intelligence over nearly everything else. A smart quarterback is better
than a talented one. A smart Linebacker is better than a strong
linebacker. etc. etc. etc… But G-Dub’s seems proud of his lack of
intellectual fortitude – and now conservatives across America are
taking up his Stupid Cause. During his presidency, being educated has
morphed into a disadvantage. This disgusts me. When i watch him on
television, mumbling incoherently, mauling some poor authors work of
prosaic beauty - i don’t know whether to hurl or defecate. it makes me
angry with a God i barely believe in that he is the soul representative
of the Greatest Nation to have EVER existed. As much
as i may disagree with everything that is Dick Cheney, at least were he
in the Oval Office, i’d be confident a smart man had his finger on the
Apocalypse Button. Oversimplification: if you can’t pronounce the word
‘nuclear’ properly, you shouldnt have a remote control for our NUCULAR arsenal.
17. mishmish: Who are your
top writers/thinkers? Have you made a conscious (or perhaps
sub-conscious) effort to mimic them or follow their lead, in style or
substance?
i have no personal favorites. i dont
want my ideals tainted by the styles and ideas of other writers. i
drink literature. The more i read, the more of my own creativity i
question. am i creative or have i just found a way to meld 3 or 4
different authors together into a single thought? did i think of
something, or did i read it? at this point, i find that i have a mouth
full of quotes and no sources. i most probably commit plagiarism every time i put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard. The great
thinkers spent very much time being great. And honestly, my ego is far
too large to accept being anyone’s disciple.
18. "asal: What question have I not asked so far that you feel should be addressed or clarified?
You never asked me my views on God. its
interesting because i’ve only ever told 3 people what i really think
and one of them is dead. but when he found out, he cried all afternoon.
i’d seen my dad break his leg without flinching. i’d seen him drag a
marine around the back of a medical clinic by his feet. i’d seen him
kill bobcats with a shovel and sand rifle (he was VERY country) but i’d
never seen him cry. i wish i could take it back.
19. yad: In an ideal work week, which days would you work, how many hours, and doing what?
in an ideal week, i’d hit work about
8am. take a long lunch at 1pm to play basketball till 2:15. get off
about 4 or 5pm. in my ideal job, i’d work in some dusty basement for
some big business, maintaining their servers and generally being left
alone. i’ve had my fill of other people in professional environments.
I’m satisfied with any job that pays enough to keep my family
comfortable and gives me time to chase my son and spank my wife. she’s
very naughty.
20. najjar: Is man more Godly than beast, or more naturally carnal than moral/spiritual?
man is more carnal than spiritual. to
believe in progress, to believe that conflict invites progress, we must
accept this fact. we must also accept that we are born addicted to life.
We work to better ourselves thru religion, philosphy (some people
consider those one in the same), thought and [also] athletics. Our
morals are loosely based on survival, minus some simple ideals that
prevent us - or are supposed to prevent us - from killing one another.
Powerful men called them sins. Smart men call them common sense. Though
common sense, in and of itself, is a laughable idea.
21. raqs: Your last shot:
tirade, rant, vitriol, praise, petition or elogy…Did I spell that
last word right? Do you get my drift? Have at, ya sahbi!
Ok, 3 truths and a story
1.Trust Thyself:
Intuiton is not clairvoyance.
its not guesswork or luck: Intuition is Executive Summary. Its that 90%
of the higher brain that functions subconsciously and simultaneously,
though no less rigorously, than the self-aware subroutine which thinks
of itself as "I". to understand this is to understand and begin to
trust one’s self.
Guilt, on the other hand, is a system of
control, a disease passed from parent to child, from society to culture
to person. it keeps us plebeians in our place. This is why our lives
are so easily subverted by less intelligent, but more amoral, people.
Look at George Bush - well he’s a dumb example, he would have to look
some of these words up - look at Caesar, Xerces, Kim Jong Il, shit look
at any of our last 5 presidents… True power is the ability of a man
to do what another man would never. That’s why, In Reality, the Good guy always dies. That’s why nice guys finish last.
We must all play things to bone and go farther than the next man. no
one will admit it, but we all know this to be true. you can feel it in
your souls - which is why we feel so ugly inside. This is not how life should be, though rather how life is. In Reality, the ‘why’ doesnt matter. why is the question which is always deeper than the answer.
2. The Remainder:i
am a part of that part of the whole which goes unwanted. Nameless, i
come unbidden, and, screaming insolently at only myself, work to shine
my own brief light.
Forgotten and unloved: i am the Remainder. having existed so long in emptiness
my soul has not so much as tired of screaming as lost its voice.
[can anyone name where I go lifted the idea for this?]
3. Accept Thyself
if i dont drink and drive after dark
i’m pretty sure to make my mark
if i’m in bed each night by ten
i may get back my looks again
if i abstained from fun and such
i might one day amount to much
but i shall stay the way i am
i simply do not give a damn
if i gave up girls and casual sex
my life would be much less complex
with no liquor or drugs in my life
i might settle down and find a wife
but were life a book to open and shut
my tales would fill the margins up
so i laugh at redemption and remain who i am
life’s too short to give a damn.
Old Favors are Soon Forgotten
A peasant was walking through the forest on his
way to the market. He had a large sack slung over his shoulder. Nearby
a wolf, escaped from a hunter’s trap, ran for his life. He came upon
the peasant and begged for help. So the peasant hid the wolf in his
bag. When the hunters came by, he said that he had seen no wolf. When
all was safe, he opened his sack and the wolf sprang out growling,
teeth flashing. The peasant begged for his life, reminding the wolf how
he’d saved his life from the hunters. The wolf simply replied, ‘old
favors are soon forgotten.’
The peasant, troubled by this dim view of life,
asked the wolf if they might ask the opinion of the next three persons
they met. If all three agreed that old favors are soon forgotten, then
the peasant would give up his life
They came upon an old dog. The dog quickly agreed
saying "I guarded my master’s house for 10 years, and now that I’m old
and slow - he’s put me out."
Then they came upon a horse. Says the horse,
"’tis true, ’tis true… I’ve pulled my master’s plow for 10 years. Now
that I’ve broken my leg, he plans to kill me for winter meat.
Soon they came upon a fox. They told the fox what
happened and put the question to him. The fox replied, "I don’t believe
it! Surely so large a wolf as you could not fit into that sack." The
wolf, hungry and anxious to prove his point, climbed into the sack. The
fox then grabbed the drawstring and pulled it shut, saying "Quickly!
Throw the sack and the wolf down the ravine, and then we shall discuss
my payment for saving you. The peasant did as he was bade, picking up
the sack and swinging with all his might. As he did, he struck the fox
and knocked her into the ravine along with the wolf.
Then the peasant stood at the edge of the cliff and called down to the dying fox:
"Old favors are soon forgotten!"
Demonicume
Tags: Blogger Darkly
