Shots From The Darkside

i remember the days

the sweaty days,
the ‘5 more laps’ days.
i remember running until i tossed my
cookies all over my cleats from exertion and
lack of water. I remember skipping the bus stop
and running to school as fast as my legs
could carry me. I took The Path,
which dragged me across two sets of railroad
tracks that’d already killed 2 students, behind a
junk yard and along a dirty old pond that
was rumored to have a giant gator lurking beneath its surface.

I stood there shaking in rage, allowing the self-righteousness and
indignity to build. Just as my anger boiled over, as me and The Big Guy
stood face to face about to do battle over an imagined slight
someone congratulates me on making the final cut:

I’d made the team.

In my enthusiasm, i’d missed the obvious difference between
this list and prior one: this was a list of final cuts,
Not the team roster.

Shots from the Dark Side 

8 Comments

dont be alarmed: this is not a typical blog. it actually has the
thinnest of sports associations - and i think that may be imagined,
also.

Saturday
i drove to Durham, NC to help a female college buddy move.
She’s a oncological pediatric nurse at Duke. this means that she works
with baby’s that have life expectancies counted in weeks. We’ve been
buddies since college - well, i used to spend a lot of time on top of
her roommate - and we were in the Carolina Band together. She takes a
special interest in my son because

1. she didnt think i’d ever slow
   down enough to be a decent father or husband, so watching me dote over
   my boy is funny to her.
2. of all our friends, i was the first to
   settle and actually become a respectable adult (though i didnt bother
   until i found out i was gonna be a daddy.
3. all of her babies die awful, painful deaths. she’s just excited to play with a baby that has all of its hair and doesnt have lines running out of its body.

But the story gets crazier. Her family is
racist - they all HATE minorities. they work with blacks even though all blacks are thugs. They
shop at Jewish stores and use words like ‘yada yada yada’, even though
all Jews are Evil and will burn in hell for killing Jesus. They even
have a couple of Hispanic friends that are, to the man, lazy and jobless.
The ‘N’ word is part of their daily patois. They send emails, which i
sometimes get copied on, from Fox News and the O’Rielly Factor. Pure
Religi-babble and conservative haterism, all of it. Her father, though, is an
old school racist. while carrying her king size bed, i smiled wondering
if he wondered if i’d ever been in it. he’s a physically large man, and well
educated - you dont expect this sort of thing from guys like him. but he wouldnt make eye contact with me or speak directly to
either me or my brother. When we showed up, his wife had to elbow him
to shake hands properly. i’ll never understand why my friend asked us to help
her considering how her family is. It was an uncomfortable day, to say
the least. well, uncomfortable for them. Me and my brother had a load
of fun. we kept flexing our big state college brains, using words like ‘patoi’… or was that ‘pad thai’?. we got the
two-fer: not only did he tell me i spoke well, he complimented Davaal
on getting an education. I"M SERIOUS. he actually seemed impressed that
we managed to escape the troubles of da hood and transcend our natural
born status as secondary beings. i mean, damn, i went to college with
his daughter - that actually involved being enrolled in college. and since i was already there…

Anyways, here’s the point: every time i go to Durham, i’m amazed at
what a complete shithole it is. I don’t know why any high school player
in the world would EVER go to Duke, UNC, NC State or any other school
in North Carolina. I see why they have so many problems. there’s
nothing for those kids to do but get in trouble. I can also see why
these star athletes run their perspective cities. the good-ole-boy
system is very much in command around those parts. Who remembers UNC before Jordan got his big shoe deal? Or Duke? Letting some prick freshman off for date rape could be an 8 or 9 million dollar investment for the city. These bitches need to shut up and know their roles. They need to lay back and take one for their community. Their little slack jawed kids need a new learning center. Baby needs new shoes, and alimoney is the fastest thing smoking these days.

lemme back off for a second: i’m not shitting on
Durham, i LOVE small towns. Small towns are great for raising a family.
But big time college athletes that drip Mojo need room to breathe and
flex. Me and my clique raised mucho hell at Carolina - and we were just frat boys. Columbia was
nearly too small for all the stuff we got into. Looking at Duke, all i
could think was: even if Miami was 0-65, one look at South Beach would
force me to sign my letter and call a press conference. Think on this: crappy
BBQ shack versus brown/white/bronze female buttocks crisping in the sun
year-round. thats not even a hard decision for me. i like buttocks more
than i like BBQ. and i fuckin LOVE BBQ.

People in Durham need to get out more. They need to outgrow these archaic stereotypes and move into the 21st century. Yeah, i’m a black man who mixes rock and country with his booty-shake. My Yuenglin or crown and coke can only be enjoyed properly with Aerosmith screaming in the background, or the Devil Went Down to Geogia and lots of cigar smoke. Yes, I went to college, but Not on a sports scholarship. My son, like one of my brothers, is half-bred - and i’m proud of them both for being multi-cultural. And if my son plays ball - he’s
not going to some powerhouse school in Backwater, USA. when i go to his
games, i wanna be seated next to some real Honey’s. I want to have a
whole camera phone of photos that’ll get me shot.
Or L.A., or
Austin. Jeez, any of you been on the Boardwalk in San Antonio? or what
about Tampa? Even Charleston is better than Durham. Ya’ll, i can think
of 30 places i’d rather be than Durham for college.

and now, we cue the booty-shake:

12 Comments

Not much is happening. Its friday and i’m damned tired. I really hate this time of year. here in Carolina it vacillates between 40 degrees and 80 degrees on a daily basis. It’s Baseball/ Hockey/ Basketball season. i dont care to watch any of those sports, but i can tolerate basketball. Some people love to watch it… and that cuz they cant play it. True many people who love to play basketball, also love to watch it. But, figuratively speaking, i literally cant stand it. these kids play around for 3 quarters before anyone gets serious. Its like watching two flyweights feel each other out for the first 10 rounds of a bout scheduled to go 15. they waste a whole lot of time dancing. coaches never let these kids play ball. its all about feints and jabs. these teams dont really go at it because they know the game is 2 hours long (with commercials (duh!)) and the need to pace themselves.

its not one-on-one. its about fluidity and evolution. teams should move unconsciously from form to form like Kung-fu, like trees in the wind. they shouldnt wait for shouts from some off camera jerk. At games, you can watch the coach Over-coach. It’s like a bad porno where you can hear the director ("OK, nooooow. no, not yet. that was too soon, set it back up.") most coaches try to dictate every aspect of the game. then when the other team does something unexpected, like when a player is faster than expected - or someone simply gets hot - their teams fall apart. thats why games are boring. thats why powerhouse teams like Duke and Ohio State go down to the wire with community colleges. The scrub schools have nothing to lose. they are literally playing every single trick in the book. Duke is just trying to maintain - they have to play Duke basketball at all times - even when it aint working. Their system is archaic and only works because they have 4-6 McDonald’s All-Americans on the team. They run their ball control offense against ameobe defenses that resemble sea anemones. Nope, this aint your daddy’s 2-3 Zone.

why doesnt anyoen ever write about Pool or 9-ball?

9 Comments

5. Oh yeah? Trade me. I never understood the whole concept of a sports trade. In no other profession do managers and owners trade players based on perceived team needs.

Todays Trade Rumors

New York Post columnist Joel Sherman:
"There are many reasons why Posada needs to retain his agility and
sustain his All-Star caliber claims processing at an age associated with steep
decline for Claims Adjusters. Weight Gain, Carpal Tunnel are always factors. Blue Cross Blue Shield is making Posada, who is in his walk
year, work for his next contract. But even more important is just how
vital Posada is to his division"

Denver Post (scroll down):
"Jon Lieber’s situation should come to a breaking point soon. Desktop SASupport will never promote him as to management. His experience, skillset and pay grade, make him too valuable to his team to risk promotion. The most logical
scenarios floating around: Lieber and Aaron Rowand to Management, or Lieber to the a rival company NCR for Kevin Mench."

4. Don Banks of SI.com reports that
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is

expected to suspend Titans cornerback Pacman Jones in the near future, and
that the suspension could apply to the entire 2007 season. This isn’t any
personal conduct clause in Jones’ contract.  It’s the league’s Personal
Conduct Policy.  This specific document
mandates disclosure of player arrests.  But Jones never told the Titans. Think on this:

• If i’m the Titans, i plead with the Commissioner to mind his own damn business. the Titans have already paid Pacman a signing bonus which they wont recoup. They might be considering pulling a T.O. - petitioning to get prorated money back - but T.O. had that clause written into his contract. This is why he wasnt paid for his final games in Philly. The Titans have no cause to try the same thing with Pacman.
  
• he hasnt been convicted of anything. Arrests are irrelevant and do not carry a any weight by themselves.  this is America and we’re all free to be wrongfully arrested by some dickhead cop with a grudge.
  
• the same thing was tried with Ricky Williams and it didnt work. Miami hasnt gotten a dime of their money back. Pacman could always put his money in a numbered account in a country that doesnt believe in extradition. Or he could pull an OJ and move his money to florida, which which doesnt recognize any other states financial decrees… rolly to protect the old folks.
  
• if they did try it, the NFLPA would give a more vigorous defense of Pacman than they did for T.O. Owens made his bed. until the government convicts Pacman of something, he didnt do anything. throwing money at strippers isnt a crime in any city in America, least of all Las Vegas. Holding him responsible for causing that riot is about as dumb as holding some soccer team responsible for starting one of their many soccer riots.
  
• Pacman could sue the league and challenge that clause as a violation of his civil rights. The clause is unconstitutional and effectively allows police officers to relieve us of our civil rights at will - it makes them de facto judges and juries. A cop with a grudge could screw my entire life up… or use the threat of arrest to make me do something illegal.

  A business has every right to check your background prior to a hire. but I dont believe they have the right to monitor your behavior when it does not affect work. This law remains unwritten to protect both employers and employees. Firing a guy falsely accused of a crime, simply because he was accused, is wrongful termination. An accusation might be cause for suspension with pay, at the most. When cleared, said business can hold up no viable reason for the termination. N.O.N.E. thats why its smarter to suspend and wait to see what happens. Goddell would do well to think about that
  

But he’s a stupid businessman, and  businessmen are STUPID. they think fans will stop watching games or stop buying jerseys if they dont put out a strong statement.  Fans dont give a damn. We get all SHOCKED and OUTRAGED - but then we walk our fat-asses down the catwalk to the stadium, bitching the entire way. It’s no travesty; the travesty isnt some DB getting arrested. The Travesty is all this faux outrage… The Lions are a Tragedy. Dallas is building a 1 Billion dollar stadium and the people funding the damn project cant afford tickets - that’s a tragedy.  But businessmen spend all their time pretending to be doing something. Giddell thinks that everyone is looking to him for an authoritative statement, and he feels the need to oblige. what will it say to the fans if he doesnt do something? Not a Damned Thang. We arent listening.

his statement should be: we’ll wait and see. he shouldnt let the faux fervor of sports bobbleheads and bloggers whacking off in cyberspace affect his policy.

3. Went to a Gamecock spring drill last night. We are looking pretty scary. Our worse receiver (6′4 220lbs) came into camp looking like a god. He ran a 4.3 40-yard-dash. that means he cut .2 seconds off his time. Our RBs are still bruising. Our defense is looking tough, too. all in all, things look great. Check out our Spring game on ESPN2. i might even make a sign. FLorida will not slip thru this time.

2. TIme for the March Madness haterism to start. it takes 3 weeks… blah blah blah. its thousands of kids out class at the same time… blah blah blah. we need a football play off. WHAT? oh yeah, we still dont have a D-1 playoff in college football. I wonder why that is?

1. Real Sports Bloggers is working nicely. We’re having less bugs and i only caused 1 fatal error all month. Again, I invite everyone who read all of this to come on out and open up an account.  I want this place to be a sports portal. I dont want it to be a simple message board. I want to build a sports community.  I plan to get a stats account with the same company Fox and ESPN use. I wanna add Online Poker and i plan to put a hot tub in the window…

i’ve installed a feature that will let you dual blog here and there. Once you set up your blog, you can set it to crawl your Fox page and autopost there. its pretty sweet. The blog is copy righted to you to you - unlike here. so anything you blog there will be protected under whatever Creative license you choose.

i’ve currently got every fight song in Div 1-A loaded on the site. i dont know how i will present them. but you can click here and peruse and download. There are two audio players you can use in your blog, or you can just download them from the site i just listed.  i’m looking into an internet radio station that will play all fightsongs, all the time. i had one installed on one of my homeservers, and i ran it during this last season. i’ll prolly do it again. or maybe i’ll create a blog that only runs the radio station.

umm, das it. keep an eye out for the next chapter in Designs of Greatness!

Demonicume

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Original post by Shots from the Dark Side and software by Elliott Back

Friday, 5pm. Probably the hardest time to move thru a city unnoticed. Everyone is headed in one of two directions. Some people are racing home to their unhappy marriages and undisciplined children .Others are moving opposite that direction as quickly as possible. Thank God its Friday. Time For Happy Hour! Shit, thank somebody its Friday; but NO one is stationary. it wasnt difficult for people on South East and Main noticed a nondescript young man. he was taller than average, but not too tall. he was slim but not skinny. His hair was blonde or brown depending on the lighting and the way the sunset lit it. He wasnt dashing towards an unhappy home or running from it. to all who bothered to give a damn, the man known as Christopher Pedlow was simply sitting and waiting. Continue reading “Designs Chapter 2 - The Meet”