Shots From The Darkside

So i got a chat from a Fox Sports writer. I won’t name names, but if you know of a paid fox blogger and you know me, then you know it could only have been one person. Apparently some of you guys have touched off a war and it finally landed at my doorstep. Here was the gist of the convo: Continue reading “A Blogger Darkly: War with Fox Sports”

Lets face it: while the rest of the world is riding Tom Brady’s nuttz, us Cowboy fans are doing our best to lay low. Tom Brady is not only the best QB in the NFL, he’s also benefiting from the greatest series of unfortunate events to befall the NFL. Tom Brady is living proof that free agency has ruined professional football. I won’t even touch the stupidity of calling a team a dynasty for dominating the NFL by 3 field goals. What I’m speaking of is the deplorable state of defense.

Jesus, can anyone in the NFL play defense? Chaos descends into NFL defensive backfields every summer. At the start of training camp, coordinators and coaches have to cobble together some semblance of a defense. The synergy that generally takes years to develop has to come about over night. Coaches overwork players which leads to off season injuries. Before the pathetic Chargers fan knows anything, their defense has become unrecognizable. You might as well throw last year’s programs away because half the players that made tackles in 07 won’t be here in ‘08. Now Ladanian Tomlinson is the greatest RB of all time. Have you seen him this season, he garbage. He’s weak minded and not very fast. I love watching his hissy fits on the sideline. Maybe he should talk to management for hiring Norv Turner instead of kicking the Gatorade bucket all over the towel boy. Maybe he should slap Shawn Merrimen for cheating and being dumb enough to get caught… either way, ya’ll suck again, fool!

Get used to it. Continue reading “The Cowboys are Unstoppable”

This case has effectively become a lynching. In case you missed it, we have multiple arms of huge corporations and government entities working to convict a single man. This has already cost millions that could have been spent on a crime that will matter. This won’t go to trial, for the same reason the charge is perjury and not drug related. The government showed its hand when it leaked an official indictment to every media outlet in the nation yet withheld the same from Barry and his lawyers. Now these allegations must be presented in open court sans the legal misconduct. Also conspicuous is the absence of tax evasion and money laundering charges from the indictment. The government’s entire case includes only 4 shaky counts that rely heavily on an uncooperative witness. Those of us on the outside will finally be able to form our opinions based on all of the facts presented rather than relying on softcore speculation and the selectively leaked allegations from anonymous sources. This indicates to us Darkside strategists that the government was painted into a corner and had to make a call.

Enter Bud Selig. Continue reading “A Blogger Darkly: Barry Bonds, a Moral Victory for the Masses.”

Dear God, why-come sports pundits are so stupid. or better yet, why come we fans are so dumb? Everytime a sports figure is busted for something, we’re inundated with 168 straight hours of every level of speculation imagineable. I hate listening to guys who don’t know Barry Bonds talk to me about Barry Bonds. Yesterday, Sports Center brought on a reporter who didn’t know anything; he didn’t know Barry or Barry’s lawyers. He didn’t know Barry’s family or anyone involved. In fact, his only tie to this case is his reporting of the OJ Case a decade ago. Why is he on TV poising the minds of stupid fans?

I’m headed to work now. I know at least 5 people will stop me in the bathroom to talk about Bonds. These guys will quote that little ESPiN soundbite like they penned the words and ran the cameras. They’ll gloss over the part about this reporter have abosolutely nothing to do with the case or know anyone involving the case. Even Mike and Mike are weighing in on this.

*Sigh*

I just wanted a peaceful Casual Day. I’m rocking a tan Old Navy sweater and some FUBU blue jeans that i bought in 1997 - and i don’t think i’ve ever washed them. I’m rocking light brown soft leather wallabies with soft soles. it doesn’t get any more comfortable than that. A black man rockin Old Navy. Somebody PLEASE protect me from the Bonds Zealots who’ve been waiting, cocks in hand, to fap-fap to the demise of Bonds.

I don’t care if they lynch his ass. It’s Jeans Da, bitches.

…because his boneheaded defensive call are killing us. We’ve turned into the Louisville of the SEC. We can score on anyone, but our defense lets us down every game. But I don’t blame the players, not after watching an entire season of T-Nix’s defense. I don’t know what this guy is smoking, but everyone in the nation knows our 3-4 couldn’t stop anyone from running anywhere. I’d trade our Defensive Coordinator for a virgin with an XBOX 360 controller. Thanks to the innovative genius of DVR, I now have the ability to record the game and watch all of T-Nice’s boneheaded calls over and over again. It’s even better than sitting in Tennessee stadium watching our defensive coordinator coach us out of a game live. Readers, close your eyes and imagine with me: Continue reading “Steve Spurrier, You Must Fire Tyrone Nix…”