Shots From The Darkside

There’s something special about this place. No, it ain’t that I’ve devoted hundreds of hours to it. In reality, I created this place simply because I could. I didn’t have any deep or nefarious plans. I was disappointed in the place that birth my blogvoice, my personae - and i thought that i could do better. There there is the length and breadth of the RSB story. As we’ve plugged away this year, we’ve scooped up some cast-offs and misfits. I’ve been joined by some powerful figures, by guys who were too big for the pond we were swimming in. For that I must say ‘thank you all’. This year was timultuous and beautiful and blogging here with you fellas - and you too Seattle - has helped me in more ways than I can express with my limited command of the language. Suffice to say that this Demon is humbled by the devotion shown by the RSB community.

I said before that there was something special about this place, and I guess I should go ahead and tell you what it is… it’s us. There are points in time when a simple man has the oppuritunity to rise up and take command of his own existence. I don’t have a great war to fight. There has been no great plague. Our economy maybe slow, but it’s in no danger of failing despite what the guys at fUx news may say. What we have is the power to communicate. Not since Johannes Gutenberg carved his first wooden letter as man kind has such a chance to take command of his world. Political Bloggers police and terrorize our politicians into maintaining some sembleance of an ideology. Geeks have their webzines which humble even bill gates. Even 5 star chefs can look up their own recipes in wikipedia.

We sports fans have the Power of the Blogger on our side. We run the show. Bit writers and NFL owners alike cruise our words to decide whats the next best thing. Right now, millions of people are selling their collective soul to ESPN and fUx Sports.

But not we Real Sports Bloggers. We understand the power beneath our finger tips. We know and understand that the Power of the Fanbase directly corresponds to the Power of the Blogger. A year ago in march i wrote thus:

a month ago, i set out to create a blog site where everyone could have their own spot light - their own little space where they could change the template how they like, print what they like - and make money from it… if they like. Everything you post here, unless you’ve taken precautions (and i can suggest a few), belongs to Fox. Everything on my site is protected under Creative Commons and copy righted (copy written?? {sic}) to you. It’s yours. any money you make? your business.

set up a google ad-sense account and throw some adds up. link to your blog space from here or any other sites you got. set up a check out cart and sell your articles. i dont care.

Here, the power of th Blogger is sacrosanct. Here, we’ve created a place where the written word holds power second only to the validity and logic - illogic? - of our (un)reasoning. No shitty politics. No wenches selling their literary cooch for crumbs from a table currupt from years of advertizing dollars and sponsorship. No would-be, plagurizing hacks here.

We are Real Sports Bloggers, a Blogger’s sports site: we only blog, here, and we only blog about sports. Fuck everything else.

So 1:13 minutes before we kick off 2008, I would like to thank everyone that stuck it out. You stuck thru the many times I broke the whole site, the time were were hacked, and other issues I was ill-equipped at the time to deal with. I want to Thank everyone for keeping me sane and never letting me forget why I do what I do. 2008 has some significant things to look forward to.

Thanks to Pig and Miracle for keeping me sane. Thanks to ShooterB for keeping my head from getting too big. Thank to the dan for lending us his clout. Thanks to toph for keeping us real. Thanks to RUSerious for the awesome quality of his work. Thanks to Kendrick for skipping the spell check. If i missed anyone, I’m sorry, but my wife let me out with the boyz and i’ve got the captain in a glass and atll white girl sitting next to me wondering why my laptop is more interesting than she is. She doesn’t understand the Power of the Blogger..

Bobby Petrino leaves for Arkansas.

So what? I woulda left them scrubs, too. ESPiN is making a big deal about the hurt Falcons. Even Sean Salisbury is in on it. These bastards couldn’t be bothered to block or catch passes for the last 3 years. Mike Vick may be in the Pen right now, but when he was on the field his WRs lead the league in dropped passes for 3 years running. His ability to make plays is all that won them the games they did win. This team has been in trouble for a few years now.

I would have quit, too… Or slapped someone. Continue reading “Run Bobby, Run!”

Make the NFL QB a football player again: get rid of the slide rule.

If NFL QBs weren’t such poor athletes, they’d be able to take a hit - and then they wouldnt get blown up so much. I’m not saying Peyton Manning should run like a gazelle. But for a sport that involves running, he looks pretty awful doing it. He has absolutely no stride. What exactly do these twits do in practice while the team is doing conditioning drills? If you look like a fat girl with a limp in the open field, you need to get work out. Donovan McNabb had a pot belly! Only offensive linemen and nose tackles are supposed to have pot bellies. And McNabb was a running QB… what does it say about your position that you can be considered mobile and have a pot belly? What does that say about everyone else at your position. Learn how to run, put on some real pads and learn to defend yourself: be a god damned footballl player for once in your life. Take off the red skirt. This leads to…

On the flip side, hitting the QB late has got to stop. You see it every game: the ball is released and then a fat-ass nose tackle comes flying in a full breath later to smash the QB. It’s like punishment for getting the ball off. Despite what defenders say, it is possible to control your momentum. I’m not saying a 300lb man has to halt his momentum before hitting the QB - i don’t want to make the rule akin to kickers. I say that the slamming the 100 million dollar man to the ground after the ball has clearly been thrown needs to stop. Its gratuitous. QBs don’t complain because they feel guilt over being so overprotected. But when a guy steps on the sideline and egts slammer, a flag is thrown. If someone plops his fat ass on top of a downed opponent, a flag is thrown. If you bull into the QB two steps after he’s thrown the ball, you should be ejected. It’s bullshit and unecessary.

Furthermore, If a player commits the above infraction, the offense should get a power play. in fact, i think all personal fowls should result in a power play. straight up - 10 on 11 for a down. The players that hurt their teams like that should be fined, especially if it injures another player.

Speaking of fines… Were I an owner, I’d go over the game film of every loss and dock pay for mistakes just like they do in the real world. Roy Williams has singlehanded lost games because of his poor coverage skills. Has he done anything to improve his skills? I need some proo, because he’s still a liability. The first game it happened, i’d've drawn up a Corrective Action. I’d've wanted a response from his personal trainer and position coached within the day as to how they planed to solve his coverage issues. All of this would have gone into an Action Plan. Then next time he blew coverage like some rookie, we’d have documented proof of the discussion. Then i’d dock his muthafuckin pay. People say “But Demon, thats fucked up!”

No.

Fucked up is $90 a ticket. Fucked up is $300 a jersey. Fucked up is watching his lose games all by himself. I don’t know about you and your job, but in my job you get fired for poor performance. Not the Coach. Roy Williams is garbage on defense. The Cowboys took action by rewriting the defensive scheme to keep him near the line of scrimmage. Thats bullshit. He doesn’t play Rover Back - he’s a damned Safety. If he can’t cover the odd TE or fullback out the back field, then he needs to fine a new job.

DemonC

whoa my god, i’m glad its saturday. long, long week, ya’ll. The only downside is that there isn’t any college football on today. i don’t know whether to shit, cry or throw up. here’s todays dope.

1) I’m putting the Gamecocks on probation until further notice. I sat thru a Florida game once… it was 17 degrees and raining. I watched every single play. I even bought food. That means i suffered thru Brad Scott. Then I dealt with Lou Holtz and his 0-22. sure, we finished 2 seasons in the top 10. But i also flew back from Korea to watch that Florida game. We were gods for 15 minutes, looking all resplendid in our Black Out uniforms. Then Steve Spurrier threw a pass to to a tackle lined up in the flats. B -E -A -T D -O-W-N. You can see that gay formation - called he Emory McHenry or something - on NCAA 2008. Now We have some motivation and momentum… what’s my issue? My issue is Steve Spurrier’s penchant for passing the ball on every down even when our RB is averaging 8.8 yards a carry. My issue is Tyrone Nix running a 3-4 defense that gave up ~ 250 rushing yards to Wofford. WOFFORD. Then we gave up 300 to Arkansas. Against florida, we lined up 2 down linemen inside the 10 yard line AGAINST TIM TEBOW. That’s why Tyrone needs to be fired - everyone with beating pulse knew Tebow was going to fake the pass and run into the endzone. What kind of asshole only lines up 2 DTs against a 6′4 220lb+ running QB? I’m done. I can’t take this. At least we lost before because we didn’t have the talent. Now we have the talent and our coaches are taking us out of games. Continue reading “yeah, baby: its saturday”