Mar 03
Getting Old is an Awful Thing
I’ve officially retired from competitive sports.
I always wanted to be the dad that took his teenage son off the dribble and slapped glass. I wanted to be the hyper athletic dad, the dad that looked good in his softball uniform. I realize today that some things may just be outta my reach.
Again, I took my big butt onto the court with some kids. I did ok. Once I waded thru all the arguing and pussy foul calls, I had an ok day. I realized, though, that even at it’s highest form, basketball is only a team game if everyone on the team sucks. When everyone on the team sucks, you do team oriented things like play 2-3 zone defenses. When everyone sucks equally, the scoring is spread evenly around the team. With no genuine big man, our team works together to score.
Together Everyone Accomplishes More
My team consisted of a couple 18 year old hoodrats fresh off the asphalt. It was 3 hours of poor shot choices and ridiculous head fakes. I couldn’t be faked because 1) i’m too fat to bite on the first or second fake, so i stand my ground waiting for the hook; and 2) I’m old enough to know how to deal with herky-jerk ballers. They need to spend less time watching AND-1 videos and more time watching Mike Bibby or Steve Nash. Eventually, I just started reaching in and taking the damn ball.. which nearly caused a fight
But I realized that basketball can be successfully played with a single man doing all of the work. Jordan did it. Kobe does it all the time. Iverson has made a career from it. It may require a team, but basketball ain’t no team sport by any means. TEAM implies that everyone is working equally for the same goal.
Then there was the 18 year old asshole who decided to Muy Thai elbow my homeboy in head. He was all like “Get the fuck off of me“. Which lead me to shove his fat ass to the ground from behind. Then his “crew” got up off the bench. So now 4 old men are staring down like 7 teenagers. It was so tense it was comical. I’m looking at fat kid and he’s looking up at me. Kids these days are full of shit. After listening to this fucker talk shit, I wanted to take his fat ass apart just for kicks.
Run- up, muthafucker.
His older brother would apologize, it ended well enough, though. His buddies didn’t want any part of us prolly because they’d've be banned from the gym.
So its Monday, I’m running out of things to say and my damned knee hurts so bad I wanna scream. Even the aches in my lower back have aches. oh, getting old: how did ya’ll manage it?
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
You give me nothing to look forward to Demon. Thank you.
All kidding aside, the technological age has turned these kids less tougher and more coddled. They aren’t use to the face to face confrontation. So next time expect the kids to pull out their blackberry to talk tough at you.
Ice that knee.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:10 am
demonicume
Now you know how us old guys feel. That’s why we have a younger woman around to make us remember at times what it’s like to run with you young ‘bloodhounds’. I still playn the odd pickup game now and again with some the kids I tutor. But I do know my limitations and they’re that I don’t try to compete unless I know I’ve got a chance to acquit myself admirably once and for all. Hence the reason why it’s now primarily the martial arts that I stick with.
tophat …………
March 4th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
You make older guys proud. I’m one of those that isn’t young enough to run with the youngsters, but if I get my hands on them, watch out.
Kids today are complete dumb asses. Alligator mouths and pigeon asses. You give me five older guys with some brains and I’ll take the kids to school, barring of course none of us have coronaries along the way.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Demon! One can’t age “gracefully”, no matter how it is tried. I still think “young”, but the body thinks “old”! The trick is pace yourself and hope for the best. Course one can always out think punks. The other thing: “It’s hell getting old, but it sure beats the alternative.”
March 4th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Dan brings up a good point.
Did they actually speak?
Or did they start texting each other when the fat kid went down?
March 4th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
it’s funny how it happened. things had been getting amped all afternoon. then the kid elbowed my bro and the next thing i know, i’d shoved his fat ass to the ground. i’m not short tempered by any means, but this guy deserved it. it was only a matter of time before he did something dirty.
thats my last trip into the hood. i always say i’m never going back. but i mean it this time.
March 4th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
BTW, my fuckin knee is swollen all to hell. this must be what shaq feels like in AZ
March 5th, 2008 at 8:57 am
demonicume
If you think that your knees’ll be the worst of your problems as you get old. Then think again wait until you star to have prostate problems . That’ll make you realize how vulnerable you’ve become and old at the same time.
tophat …..