Shots From The Darkside

My name is Demonicume. It’s a fake latin word i made up to mean ‘Praise Evil’. It should have been Demoniclaude, but that just sounded too gay, wouldnt you say? we could blog by the bay, maybe eat some hay? ok? I just may… (ShooterB reference). Some topics need a Darkside. Some subjects need a straight-up asshole with a rapist’s wit and the hands of a surgeon to carve a topic up and lead you to the unbiased Truth. The blogosphere is packed with bloggers blogging in circles, patting each other on the ass - congratulating one another about how right they all are. Dissenters are vanquished quickly - no one is allowed to disturb the universal circle-jerk. Everyone gets a free glass of kool-aid with their reach-around.

I say Fuck That. There’s something fucked up going on, and no amount of feel good stories is gonna change that.

i say there’s no shame in non-mainstream thinking. I don’t blog for a reach-around, I blog for substance. I dont buy into the public opinion. Individually, people may be reasonable and smart - but we get real dumb in packs. The Lynch Mob in the Court of Public Opinion generally rides the inbred side of the bell curve.

I’m here, and I’ll do my thing, whether you like it or not. Take your medicine.

Sport I love to watch, but hate to play: Football.
Many people look back fondly on their days on the gridiron. Not me. I wasnt bad, but i wasnt good. i generally dont do things that i’m not good at. its a waste of resources. ‘if at first you dont succeed, try again. if you fail again, quit.’ many people claim the journey is more important than the win/loss record. Theyre right: but whaddya do when the journey sucks?

Sport i hate to watch but love to play: Basketball.
I love ballin. i love going to the court and pickin up up 4 other cats i dont even know and forging a team. i’m your Point Guard. When the game starts,there’s usually disagreement about who’ll handle the rock. but i got handles and i prefer not to shoot a lot of shots. i also set pretty mean blindside screens.i generally end up running the break. basketball is so fucking boring on TV. they dont even play for the first 3 quarters. the refs cant decide if a jump-step is a travel or not. organized basketball allows scrubs like Yao Ming to make all-star teams. He sucks, he’s a fat girl’s blouse.

Sports I’d play professionally if i had the skill: Tennis.
I love it. I’ve been a racket freak since i was 10 years old on the Naval Annex in Orlando, Florida. We played all day. We had too, the high school kids took up every court on base and - unless we felt like fighting - they wouldnt let us play. It started with Ping Pong, then to Racket Ball, then Tennis. Tennis also has the hottest female athletes… ok, discounting Volley Ball, of course.

A word about Volley Ball - i love it.
In college i lived next door to 4 chicas from some country with no vowels in its name. They were hot, brother. they were also all over 6′2″ tall. I LOVE tall girls and these gals had it going on. Their legs went all the way up. My favorite was this dark haired, light eyed mama name Eunice. She rhymed with Venus. I wanted to introduce her to my ***** - but she loved the tall thuggy guys. what could i do for her at 5′10? A Whole-damned lot, if she’d given me the shot - but i just wasnt willing to get gold teeth. these chicks used to come to our room in T-shirts, panties and ankle-sox after midnight to drink beer and watch B-Grade movies. thats right, WATCH MOVIES - and we really watched them. its funny, you always think you can hit if you just say the right thing. either they were cock-teasin bitches or no man can score while watching Clerks… luckily, i had a backup - my girlfriend - a true redhead with the cutest lil strawberry patch. but she was only 5′9.

Florida and THE Ohio State were coronated the King and Queen of college athletics. Good luck figuring out which member of this civil union is the Bitch and which is the Butch. I hear that theyre having a Star Wars themed wedding. They’ll be dressed up as storm troopers. Arkansas, Alabama and the Michigan have all agreed to be bridesmaids and come dressed a Ewoks.

The NCAA is evil. By watching a game, your are complicit and culpable. Every time a stupid NFL-er slaps a bitch, you helped make that possible. personally, i dont give a damn, she should learn to stick and move. but
i’m tired of hearing about the ‘Evil NFL’ and its ‘Thugs’. Where does the
responsibility fall for a woman just keeping her damned mouth shut?

i really hate the Court of Public Opinion, more.

i say we subpoena the Public and begin an investigation into the Court of Public Opinion. I mean, really, who is the ‘Public‘ in this kangaroo court, and why should i give a damn about its opinion? What i do know is that every blogger that writes something negative about a PacMan or a TO will be watching a game involving these guys. We’ll buy tickets and jerseys. We’ll sit thru commercials. We’ll blog about it, looking at ads we’ve been trained to ignore (unless you use Firefox and have ad-block enabled - not using firefox says a lot about you, too). I say we subpoena the entire court of Public Opinion, charge them as ‘Accessories Prior To‘, ‘Accessories After the Fact’ and ‘Conspirators‘ to every crime committed by our ‘thugs’.

The Detroit Lions suck? Stop watching them until the owner gets the message. Has ESPiN become the MTV of sports? Cancel the channel with your cable company. Dallas fans paying too much for a stadium? dont buy the pay-per-view. the fact that people in Dallas have to buy a pay per view to watch a game played in a stadium their taxes paid for is proof that people are stupid.

My name is Demonicume, now you know my name. Welcome to Shots from the Darkside