Oct 18

A CLusterfuck of Greed in Columbia SC

Today will be witness to the beginning of the end here in SC. Game Day is already a mess which consumes the entirety of the city. I still live in Columbia, so I know better than to head anywhere near the South Side within 3 hours of the game. Every road is diverted towards the stadium. For good or ill, all traffic is pointed towards Williams Brice.
So we got Carolina against LSU. I think we have a shot with appropriate game calling and some luck. The game is here in Columbia, SC. But what’s that across the street from the stadium? The muthafuckin Fair Grounds – and this is the last weekend. It’s going to be a mess. The Fair sells its parking to football fans. So now we have 90k football fans, clashing with 10k women and brats standing in line and eating elephant ears. This should be great.

There are also $200,000 condos surrounding the stadium. I don’t know who convinced these guys it’d be a good idea to live in the shadow of the stadium. But they shoulda fuckin asked me. Come Gameday, you can’t even leave your own gated parking lot for all the rednecks and RVs. That part of the city is shutdown for games. You better have all the beer and chips you need by Friday evening, cuz you’re stuck til after midnight on Saturday.

But it gets worse – Gamecock basketball starts today. It’s not even November yet! Jezuz-titty-fucking-christ. Would it be possible for us to only play 2 sports at a time? It’s still baseball season. It’s still college football season. The NFL is just heating up. The NBA is starting. Now the Gamecock basketball players will miss tonite’s game.

The basketball game means that out upscale bar district will be fraught with Lexuses and SUVS with foreign stickers. That will draw out coppers in squads of 12, which means I’ll actually have to call a cab tonite to get home from the bar.

There will be a cluster fuck here in Columbia, SC tonight. Believe it.


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Oct 14

The Bail Out and Tammy Bowden

Tag: A Blogger Darkly, College Football, Gamecocksdemonicume @ 3:49 am

Winning is not having to pay the money back.

Winning is not having to pay the money back.

Tammy Bowden lost his job yesterday.  I’m not entirely sure it can be considered ‘losing’, though. The Clemsux Tigers know losing. They’ve done it a lot since Tammy came to town. They’ve lost to scrub teams and good teams. They’ve put out for mediocre teams and amazing teams. They’ve lost in spectacular fashion and in awful fashion.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

But I wouldn’t call Tammy a loser. Clemson University had to pay this asshat 4 million dollars to go away. They also had to do it before his daddy threw him another game - not that FSU is doing all that well, either.

I liken this payout to the bailout our congress just imposed upon us. Unlike most people, I was not afraid of our economy failing. Dell is moving 90% of it’s plants to Asia… and our government is letting it happen. Fuck a bailout – what’s going to happen to Sumter, SC when the only business in town besides Wal-mart pulls out? Besides, I have far less than $100k in the bank, so my little savings was safe enough. My 401k, however, bled to the tune of some poor schmoe’s yearly salary. Lehmen Brothers’ CEO made 480 Million dollars though. I know, I know. I saw him in front of congress, most of his money was in stocks. So in reality he lost 200 million. It puts my measley $14k in perspective. It took 15 years to raise the minimum wage 1 fucking dollar. It took 3 days to increase our debt by nearly a trillion dollars. GRAND IRONY.

Ron Paul made an interesting statement about the Federal Reserve which, I think, applies to sports management.

Rather than allowing asset bubbles to pop and malinvested resources to liquidate, Federal Reserve monetary policy has attempted to pump more and more new money and credit into the system to try, in vain, to sustain the economic boom. Money is gained upfront, while the cost of repaying that debt is pushed onto future generations.

You can sub FEDERAL RESERVE with any team in any sport that buys big names every year and doesn’t win. You could sub the name OF a sport in there. ‘You gotta spend money to make money’ seems to be the policy now-a-days. Is it any reason our economy is in the tubes? You can sub FUTURE GENERATIONS with Average Fan.

The Clemson Bailout was stupid and unnecessary. They should have sucked up the next year or 2 under Tammy. It doesn’t matter who the coach is, the Clemson fans will have to wait a minimum of 4 more seasons before they see any real results. Who knows, maybe Tammy could have turned this thing around. Maybe a new legion of coordinators would have done the trick. But this bailout does nothing for the standard Clemson Redneck. How does Clemson Administration plan to buy a new coach when the money set aside to pay a coach has been burned already?

Governments have three main methods by which they can raise funds: taxation, printing new money, and debt. I say that Universities have only 3 methods of raising funds:

  1. begging their state congress to increase funding - thereby raising taxes on the average fan to cover the cost of bad investments [coaches]…
  2. raising ticket prices on the average fans. According to stats I made up for this blog, a simple $5 increase in ticket prices, coupled with $5 dollar hotdogs and beers, will cover Tammy’s bus fare 20 times over. In fact, it’s prolly a better investment to bring in a new coach every 4 years without regard for win lost records. It brings in hope, which drives fans to the game. Trust, there ain’t shit else in Clemson, SC. Them toothless fucks have nothing better to do. It’s like Alabama without all the championships. I love Carolina which when 0-22 under Lou Holtz and still sold out EVERY SINGLE GAME.
  3. Debt - this isn’t an option for most colleges. I’ve read about Athletic Directors crying because they can barely stay above water. FUCK THAT, stop making bad calls. Don’t start a project to add 10,000 seats to Billy Brice Stadium before you’ve actually signed the deal with Under Armor, or Cingular or whomever-the-hell else.

What’s my point? Wachovia should have been allowed to fail. Before Wachovia took over every bank in SC, it was another bank… which was fucking failing. In this ass-rape of a relationship, the American Tax Payer - and subsequently, the average fan- is an abused wife. We throw ourselves into the fist. The government tripped and we fell on the dick. We love it. We let the fuckers we hired beat us and then tell us how much we need the beatdown.

I say again, Wachovia should have been allowed to fail.. to liquidate. The CEO should have lost his job and his jet. The business should have been liquidated and sold off in bits to people like me and my friends who might’ve gotten together the funds to open a small branch of our own.

Tammy should have been allowed to fail. We gotta pay his dumb ass anyways. That’s tax payer money Clemson just threw away. No one asked me if I wanted to fire this guy. I must have missed the board meeting.


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Aug 11

Gamecocks try to buy wins

Tag: Gamecocks, carolina gamecocksdemonicume @ 5:12 pm

For the past week, I’ve been listening to my athletic Director beg for money on every public forum available to him. I’m too tired to go into the details, but I’m tired of it. Money doesn’t buy wins, but it does buy some things:

  • Quality equipment and good staff to ensure our athletes are getting the best physical educations possible.
  • quality facilities that meet minimum safety standards
  • Good coaches (Spurrier) who know what they’re doing.

Beyond that, money has very little to do with winning. We can add 15k seats to Billy Brice Stadium, but that won’t make Carlos Thomas a shutdown CB. He has the talent, but not the will. I hear that NFL scouts have been seen at his place for 2 years now. This guy is already planning his end zone dance. Building million dollar condos next to the stadium won’t make Mike Davis hold on to the ball. It won’t stop Darth Visor from calling a toss sweep in his own end zone or from calling 3 consecutive pass plays while his runners are averaging 8 yards a carry.

I heard a caller talk that Tennessee is dropping a quarter billion on its spots facilities. This clown said that big time sports teams have big time facilities. Right now we have the egg preceding the chicken. Schools like Southern Cal and Miami can have billion dollar gyms because they’ve won big time games, - not the other way around.

The time to reward our players is when the offensive line blocks consistently… when we don’t blow leads in big games… when we finish a season as strong as we start it. Until then, you stupid football players will have to deal with preferential housing, specialized tutoring centers and almost-bleeding edge sports facilities.

You stupid Gamecock fans have to realize - the athletic director doesn’t life weights, catch balls or make takes. The ONLY thing he can do is sit around and beautify things. For him, the answer is money. He sees the money big time programs spends and equates that with winning.

To dispell that rumor, one need olnly look at A-Rod or the Houston Texans.

Until then, we’ll be that cat on the basketball court with the hot Jordan’s, the matching Nike Jumpsuit and leather ball who can’t play worth a damn.


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